Tips To Surviving Holiday Stress

‘Tis the season to be jolly,’ or is it? The holiday season is officially in full swing, and for many this can be a time of delight and happiness.  Holidays can be a time for gathering with friends and family while celebrating successes and accomplishments.  Social media, Netflix holiday specials, and advertisements inundate us with images of warmth, joy, and happiness with families in matching pajamas and bright smiling faces. While this may be the goal, and likely an unrealistic one, the holidays may have you holding your breath and waiting for the New Year.

Regardless of how you feel about the holidays, this is a time of year that ultimately causes stress and will likely move you out of your state of homeostasis, where you are most balanced and able to function. An array of demands are placed on our day to day lives, while the everyday responsibilities do not cease to occur for most.  Gift giving, travel, and parties place a strain on finances, obligations, and time; and for many, time with family can prove to be exhausting at best.

Not all families are picture perfect, and spending time with family can bring forward unresolved family issues or trigger memories from a painful childhood, all while continuing with dysfunctional communication styles.  Even in the more functional families, the awkward conversations that trigger anxiety, uncertainty, and low self-esteem occur.  For some, the holidays can exacerbate grief over a lost loved one with whom you may have shared the holidays.

The pressure and effort to maintain holiday cheer can often result in feelings of sadness, loneliness, and depression.  To survive this holiday season, below are some tips to live your best life.

Practice moderation. Be aware of the tendency to engage in excessive consumption during the holiday season. Eating sugary treats, indulging in the extra cocktail, and taking advantage of holiday sales feel good because they flood our brains with serotonin and dopamine. These boosts feel great temporarily, but leave us needing to continue to engage in the behavior to feel good.  This does not mean that you should practice extreme restriction during this time, as that will likely cause you to feel frustrated and may stir up resentments.  Instead, be intentional about your consumption and enjoy special treats and activities in moderation.

Identify your needs. Be aware of what helps you to feel rested and recharged versus exhausted and overwhelmed. Reflect on the relationships in your life and how spending time in different settings makes you feel. Check in with yourself to identify the times in which you feel respected and safe. Typically when we feel most drained, exhausted, and stressed, we have stopped paying attention to our needs. In order to make a plan to manage your stress, you need to first know what causes it.

Be okay with saying “no”.  Once you know what you need, it is okay to ask for it.  It is important to focus on your emotional needs and to not drain your emotional or financial bank account.  It is okay to not buy gifts for every person in your family, but to ask to pull names instead. It is okay to not go to every holiday party. It is okay to avoid triggering conversations and topics with your family. Understanding your own limitations, and setting boundaries that support your abilities is one of the best things you can do.

Maintain healthy habits.  Don’t let the holidays be the time when you fall short on your workouts or forget all your healthy eating habits.  Keep up your mental health immune system with getting enough sleep and tending to your physical well-being.  Our mind and spirit have a tough time keeping up without the body, so make your health a priority.

Be mindful. Try to stay present and aware of your emotions and experiences. It is easy to go through the motions or grin and bear it when life gets chaotic, busy, or uncomfortable, but the key to not being consumed by the world around us is to slow down. But mindfulness is more than just being aware, it includes the absence of judgment. So be present and aware, with compassion for yourself, your feelings, and your situations. You are exactly where you need to be.

Ask for help.  There is no time like the present to change a habit, and rather than waiting to make a “New Year’s Resolution,” commit to action to be your best self in this moment.